Moments of Reflection
Welcome to my Blog page and thank you for taking the time to visit!
Here I share with you what I call, Moments of Reflection.
You see, after leaving the corporate world, I’ve had a lot more of that precious thing in life, time and it’s allowed me the space to open my mind and break open my heart. To reflect on my life and the many lessons I’ve learnt over the years.
In 200 words or less, I now share these lessons with you.
My greatest wish is that you find a little nugget that maybe you can apply to your life to help make your days on earth more peaceful, calm and content.
#8 Work/life balance
Is it possible? My last year in the corporate world saw me in a global role managing multiple time zones. Finishing work at7pm, 11pm even 1am was not uncommon. It was manic and I was out of control. Did I have work/life balance? NO!
In my new life, I found myself combining study and life quite nicely however as my new business started gaining momentum, guess what started happening? Yes, that work/life balance thing took a turn. Out the window went the exercise, diet and emotional wellbeing. Can you relate?
Well, enter two of my favourite words, awareness and choice. In my new life, I learnt about awareness so thankfully, I had the tools to become aware of what was (or was not) happening. That meant I had the choice to change (another fave word). Like most things though, change takes commitment and discipline.
So yes, I think work/life balance is possible because at the end of the day it’s me who is in control of my life. And you? You are in control of yours! We need to put ourselves back in the driver’s seat of our lives and steer in the direction that serves us well.
#7: The what ifs…
A friend recently asked me how to manage the ‘what ifs’ in life. The ‘what if this happens’ or ‘what if it doesn’t happen’. My response to her was, by being in the present moment. However, being in the present moment takes work! The reality of it is this yesterday is exactly that, yesterday. And tomorrow is yet to happen. It’s a frame of mind that takes both practise and discipline but like anything, the more you practise the better you get. I’ve had lots of practise over the last few weeks with the health of a close family member. I’ve had to remind myself as well as those around me that we need to take one day even one moment at a time and I can tell you without a doubt, it has certainly helped manage the high level of worry. It’s been a mantra I repeat over and over. So next time you find yourself in a worrying situation that maybe causing you anxiety, catch yourself, maybe take a deep breath, bring yourself to the present moment and make it your mantra, one day or even one moment at a time.
#6: Face your fear
Fear, fear, fear. Do you agree that we all have our fears? If you drill down, it’s usually the cause of a lot of pain in our lives.
I’ve had to do a fair share of work on my fears. Here’s how I did it. I started by first really understanding my fears. I can be a little haphazard when it comes to journaling however this is a great example of when writing my thoughts down on paper made a huge impact. I uncovered my fear of being hurt, fear of not being good enough and fear of failure as well as examples of when my behaviour is fear wearing a mask. This is what I also learnt in the process. I slowly learnt to recognise the signs and I learnt how to catch myself right in the moment of fear raising it’s head. I learnt by acknowledging what I was feeling, being okay with it and knowing I’m okay, helped the fear dissolved. Will it go away forever? I’m not sure but I now recognise the signs and I have tools to manage it.
#5: Be kind to myself
Be kind to myself? Really? But what about beating myself up at those times when I either performed or behaved badly? Kick myself when I’m down? Well, sadly, that’s exactly what I used to do. I was terrible to myself. Saying to myself you are stupid, when will you learn, what will they think? Would I say these words to a friend if she finds herself in a similar situation? Heck no. So why would I do it to myself? This is something I’ve worked on and continue to work on. Beating myself up made me feel worse. It meant staying stuck in the drama. But when I learnt to be kinder to myself, treat myself like I’d treat a good friend, I felt much better. Lighter. It’s important to learn from a situation and be mindful. So I’m not always going to be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, aunty or Coach. I’m not always going to say or do the right thing because I’m human and it’s okay…
#4: Yes or No?
Do you say yes to things when you really wish you said no? Then have that not so nice feeling that comes with it? Maybe resentment? I know it well but over the last year I’ve been practising more no’s. Ouch, sometimes awkward for someone who would prefer to say yes than offend someone. But here’s the thing. Time is really precious and I say use it wisely! For me it means saying yes to spending time with the people I want to be with and doing more of the things that light me up. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that of course we sometimes have to do things we don’t want to do. I teach this to my 9 year-old daughter. That’s life. But there are also opportunities to say less of I ‘have’ to or I ‘should’. If you can relate, I encourage you to stop and ask, why do I feel I ‘have’ to? See what comes up for you…
#3: Knowing vs Doing
Can you relate to the feeling of ‘knowing’ what to do in an everyday situation but ‘not’ doing it? This has been me with my morning ritual. I know what I want to do but I’ve not been doing it! Enter honest conversation with myself. First I asked, do I really want to do it? A simple yes or no. Next, what do I think is stopping me from doing it? Am I prepared to move through what’s stopping me? As I worked through these questions, this is what I realised. If I ended up deciding to NOT commit to my ritual, I knew I had to let the idea go. I get sick of the same conversation with myself, it becomes dull. I stop the talk and move on. How about you? Maybe when you next find yourself in a similar situation see what comes up when you ask yourself the same or similar questions. It might just help you reach a decision…
#2: Doing vs Being
There is ALOT of doing, doing, doing in everyday life because yes, life could be interesting if things were not done! But this is what I tested. For the very first time in a yoga class, I gave myself permission to opt out of a flow and relax in child’s pose. Simply ‘being’. What a nice feeling and it served as a very good reminder of the importance of balancing ‘doing’ vs ‘being’ in life. For me, being is when my moments of inspiration bubble to the surface. When I regain a sense a calm. When I allow myself to connect with my body. There is power in both states. I know you can relate to the feelings that come with constantly doing. The heightened sensation in the body, the busyness of the mind and maybe a strained look on the face. Next time you feel it, I challenge you to pause, to breathe, to become aware and to simply be with yourself. Even for a moment…
#1: Give myself permission
I love a good quote to lift my spirits but there are days when I just feel ordinary and a quote, a yoga class, a walk, a wine or talking about it does not change how I feel. Here’s the thing. It’s okay to feel flat, uninspired, disengaged, disconnected, sad, angry or unhappy. In fact, it’s more than okay, it should be seen as a normal part of life. I was brought up to pick myself and dust myself off in bad situations. To get on with it. It served me well to a certain point but it meant denying myself of feeling a range of emotions at the time of a bad situation. I learnt the hard way later in life that I could only un-feel for so long. Your body is clever and catches up. It will scream at you in pain telling you enough is enough. So please, next time you are not feeling great, give yourself permission to really feel it and say to yourself, this too shall pass, because it will…